Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
