just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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