You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
