who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
