Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My first STD was from a foam party
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
