I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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