I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
