Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
