So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
