Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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