My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
