Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
