What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
