chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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