I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize