wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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