have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
