At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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