who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He has the fingertips of a God
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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