Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
