I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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