I'm going to jail i love you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
