You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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