is your mom at the bar?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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