I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize