Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
MIDGETS
????
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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