Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
