It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize