I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
