I want to walk on stilts...naked
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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