Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
