I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
