just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
