You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
