Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
