Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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