doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
