It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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