here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
PANTIES FOUND
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