I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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