ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
