We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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