Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
