I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
