Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
