my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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