She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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