Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
