She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
