I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
