Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
