GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My life is pants optional.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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