cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
