no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
