Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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