I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
