It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
