my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
