Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
