I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
