I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
