Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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